I'm not Okay I Promise
by Dark Elven Princess
Summary: What does a certain James Potter write in a letter when he's about to give up on the girl of his dreams?


I'm not okay (I promise)

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'Okay guys, I'll meet you for dinner!' I called to my friends as I entered the library. I wanted to get that nasty Transfiguration essay over and done with.

I chose my usual spot, right up the back in the corner. I down my bag and went off to the shelves to find some books.

Upon my return, I found a letter on top of my bag, my name written on the front of it. I instantly recognized the untidy scrawl.

I sat down and carefully opened the letter, looking around to make sure that nobody was looking. I hadn't even seen him come in! My hands shook as I read.

_ Dearest Lily,_

_I write you this letter in the hope of one more chance. _

_Lily, I know all you see in me is an arrogant prick, but I' so much more than that! _

_I just wish that you could see that!_

_All I want is one chance Lily, just one. _

_Please, please consider it. If this does not work, consider these words my last._

_Yours forever,_

_James._

I pales as my eyes kept reading, lingering on the last line; _'Consider these words my last'_, what do they mean?…

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Over the next few days I kept glancing over at James. I noticed that he looked very sick and ghostly pale.

Not because of me! Surely not! I kept telling myself as the bell rang for end of classes.

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Sirius came running frantically down the table towards us as we were eating dinner, his face unusually pale.

'Guys have you seen James? He sais he was going for a walk after class and that's the last I saw of him.'

Suddenly I understood what he meant. _'consider these words my last'_.

Everyone stared at me as I dropped my knife and fork and ran for dear life our of the hall. I didn't know where I should go, although me gut was telling me to go to the Astronomy tower.

Trying not to throw up with anxiousness, I ran up the stair two at a time, Sirius and Remus right behind me.

When I got to the door, I wrenched it open and the sight before me made me scream. I heard Sirius choke from somewhere over my shoulder.

There, in front of us, was James, hanging by a rope from the rafters, his face pale and expressionless.

Sirius pushed past me, he looked as though he was going to pass out. He just stood there staring at James, before collapsing on the ground, sobbing.

It was then that I noticed it, right under James, a brown envelope. I cautiously moved forward and picked it up. It was addressed to me.

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**"I'm Not Okay (I Promise)"**

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.  
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.  
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,  
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?  
(I'm not okay)  
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means  
(I'm not okay)  
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook  
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks  
The photographs your boyfriend took  
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed now

I'm okay  
I'm okay!  
I'm okay, now  
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me  
Because I'm telling you the truth  
I mean this, I'm okay!  
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
Well, I'm not okay  
I'm not o-fucking-kay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
(Okay)

Now do you understand Lily? _'Consider these words my last'_.

I loved you Lily. Now you have your wish.

Goodbye forever.

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_Ok guys, I hope you don't get the wrong idea from this! This is the randomness of a bad mood and listening to My Chemical Romance! Hahaha!_

_Full cred. Goes to My Chemical Romance for the song **'I'm not okay (I promise)'**. They're an awesome band and you should check em' out! _

_Till next time._

_Peace out!_

_**Dark Elven Princess.**_


End file.
